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An Old Beggar's Prayer

from Lookout by Scott Pinkmountain

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lyrics

An Old Beggar’s Prayer

I’ve scarred my brow with worry, I sing with a croak.
My looks never charmed, ah but now they’re a joke.
I’m ready though, if you need me.
Surely, you can tell.
Just waiting here in the dark, counting church bells.

I used to be younger. Well that’s no surprise.
And I measured the world through those younger man’s eyes.
Who got what, and why?
Was everything fairly earned?
Like a baby sparrow bawling in the nest, I wailed while I yearned.

Dear lovers, and family, and friends,
If there’s any still out there,
No, I don’t dare ask your forgiveness,
I just thank you for enduring
An old beggar’s prayer.

Grant me humility, grant me peace,
And the patience and strength to let you use me as you please.
Alert and unjudging, I’ll await your instruction
As receptive to your beauty as your death and destruction.

I’ll look for your grace in all the usual places,
But also read for your plan in the palm of the strangler’s hand.
I’ll listen for your kindness in the cruelty of lovers.
I’ll look for your light in the cheap neon sign.
Please let my efforts bring solace to others, if it’s your design.

I don’t expect money or applause,
Or for you to stand there passive and stare.
I’ve done nothing to earn your respect.
I just thank you for enduring
An old beggar’s prayer.

An old beggar’s prayer, like a teardrop in the rain,
Its abandoned last stanza, its unrhymed refrain.
The altar’s unsteady, built from castoff remains,
The choir’s not ready, off-key and untrained.
The congregation’s unshaven, but they’ve filled every chair.
They showed up to sing an old beggar’s prayer.

For the stood up and let down, for the loners and losers
For the jilted and ignored, the abused and abusers.

For the failures and frauds, for the laid off and fired
For the debtors and cons, and the ones never even hired.

For the weaklings and misfits living hidden in books,
For the drunks in the back making cynical looks.

For the sinners exposed and saints easily had
And the mediocre rest of us just trying not to do bad.

Here’s your old beggar’s prayer, a supplicant’s song,
Don’t expect it to be answered, but if you want, sing along, it goes

Grant me humility, grant me peace,
and the patience and strength to let you use me as you please,
but please, please, I beg you,
put me to use.

credits

from Lookout, released February 11, 2014

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Scott Pinkmountain California

Scott Pinkmountain (aka Scott Rosenberg) is an American musician and a writer. Over the past 20 years, he has recorded and performed extensively in the U.S. and Europe with many excellent musicians including Anthony Braxton, Jacopo Andreini, Gino Robair, Sam Coomes, Arrington Di Dionyso, Phil Minton, Jaap Blonk, Pauline Oliveros, Tim Daisy, Nate Wooley, and others. ... more

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